Globetrotters

Hans decided to celebrate our 28th anniversary with a trip to Ecuador! UFB! I often find it hard to imagine that I, who never even wanted to get married, have now spent half my life with the same man-WOW! Most amazing is that we actually still enjoy each other’s company & have fun together.

We made it a 2 week trip as a trial run for the longer trip to the Far East that we’re planning for this fall. We want to travel light, with just backpacks & using public transportation, so we thought we’d try that approach on this trip & see how we managed. It worked well with a few shaky moments. Life on the road involves a certain amount of discomfort & for me if that’s not outweighed by the fun adventure factor, I tend to become bitchy-Grouchy Gail-LOL! Hans travels on a more even keel, as he lives.

For a tiny country-the 4th smallest in South America-Ecuador packs a wallop in biodiversity. In fact it has the biggest biodiversity per area in the world! With 9.2 species per square km. it occupies 1st place in the world with regards to species per area. This is due to the ‘Four Worlds’ factor. The country consists of 4 distinct & diverse regions: The Amazon Rainforest, The Highland Andes, The Galapagos Archipelago, & The Coast. We chose to spend much of our time on the coast. When we decided to leave the states some years ago, we explored expat living in various countries & that region of Ecuador was one we’d considered moving to. So of course we had to see if we missed anything by choosing Panama instead-NOT! When we visited the weather was overcast, chilly & windy-my 2 bathing suits went unused the entire trip! Much as I suffer from the heat here in Panama, too cold is worse-LOL! Is perfect weather really too much to ask for?

We flew into Quito & stayed at Hotel Quito. It’s really remarkable how reasonably you can stay if you’re willing to use moderately priced hotels where middle class Latin Americans stay, rather than the exorbitantly expensive American brand hotels. Of course quality control suffers & sometimes we ended up in a dumperoonie, but usually they were at least clean & comfortable-what more do you need really? We forego the amenities since we’re such buzz asses, we’re on the go from morning until evening & not even in the hotel much at all-why pay for what we don’t use? It’s sort of strange to be the only gringos in these places, I will admit. But people are friendly & I think they get a kick out of us staying there.

The 1st morning I bounded out of bed at the crack of dawn & threw open the curtains to a spectacular vista of snow covered Andean peaks-WOW! “Get up Hans! Let’s roll before the clouds set in.” We’d arrived the night before in a fog worthy of Jack the Ripper stalking the streets-EEK! Of course Hans, undeterred, left the hotel & walked around looking for a restaurant with ‘local flavor’. I accompanied him for protection if nothing else-LOL! Before we left I’d made the dreadful mistake of checking out the US State Dept. website on travel to Ecuador-EEK! Dire statistics of violent crime against tourists, especially using public transportation such as buses & taxis! Entire busloads held hostage & robbed! Cabs kidnapping tourists & forcing them, at gunpoint, to empty their bank accounts at ATM machines. Street crime also prevalent, I recalled as we walked along the creepy foggy streets….

I’m happy to report that we traveled by bus & taxis, walked the streets & talked to people without any negative incidents or even a mildly threatening moment. I guess it’s like watching your local evening news channel. Makes you think everyone around you is a psycho-killer! The climate of fear our government loves to generate carried over into Ecuador. Not to pooh-pooh the crime factor, when people are as poor as they are in Ecuador they tend to rob “rich” gringos. BUT more along the lines of pick pocketing than anything else, from what we discovered talking with people. Lesson learned, never believe what you read, esp. not gov’t publications!

The first day we took the TeleferiQo (cable car) up Cruz Loma, one of the hills on the slope of the active Pichincha volcano.

The cable cars take off at 9,680 ft. & reach a height of 13,287 ft. Quito sprawls below you as you climb, a city of 3 million nestled in a valley, surrounded by volcanoes-stunning vistas!

I wanted to get going early, as the clouds & fog roll in after 3:00 each day, but mornings are brilliantly clear. Strangely enough Hans is much more affected by altitude sickness than I am-even though he’s much fitter. We joke that I’m too ‘primitive’ to be affected by such things-LOL! As soon as we left the cable car the poor guy got a headache.

From a ‘visit Ecuador’ website:

“The Pichinchas are two volcanoes in the west of Quito. The inactive volcano Rucu Pichincha is closer to Quito and with an altitude of ca. 4680m the lower one. It has become a very popular hike since a cable car goes from Quito up its slopes to over 4000m thus making it much easier to reach its summit. Nevertheless due to the high altitude this is not a hike for your first day in Quito. Take your time to acclimatize yourself to the height so you can enjoy this beautiful trek through the highlands and the great views over the northern Ecuadorian Andes from the summit.”

HA! HA! So there we are on our very first day in Quito, huffing & puffing our way up this mountain, gasping for air in the low oxygen/high altitude zone. We followed a trail up the mountain & climbed up to @ 14,000 feet before we pooped out.

On a clear day, you can observe the surrounding volcanoes: Antisana (18,700 ft), Cayambe (18,725 ft), and Cotopaxi (19,347 ft). Quite a sight with snow capped peaks!

Later that day we explored the Old Town, Colonial Quito, declared a World Heritage Site by UNESCO in 1978. The narrow lanes lined with tiny ‘tiendas’ (stores) reminded me of Barcelona, when I lived there in 1977.

The Spanish influence on architecture in Quito is quite obvious. Even more apparent is the influence of Spain on the spoken Spanish, true Castilian or ‘standard’ Spanish. “Just like the Rosetta Stone” said Hans happily! This has been a challenge for us since moving here. I was rather fluent in Spanish 30 years ago so I figured I’d have a learning curve but the Panamanian Spanish really threw me a curve ball. I simply cannot follow what the hell people say. Come to discover from Panamanians themselves that they speak a ‘vulgarized’ dialect of Spanish, chopping off the endings of words & speaking at lightening speed. In Ecuador people spoke slowly & clearly said the entire word-WOW! We could actually speak with them!

We also enjoyed the wide clean sidewalks of Quito-made for pedestrians!

Walking in Panama City is quite a challenge, sidewalks are non-existent for the most part or narrow & covered with litter & dog shit-these streets are NOT made for walking-LOL!

The next day we headed for the hills-to ‘El Mitad del Mundo”-the middle of the world…NO not hobbit land!

The equator, for which Ecuador is named. Sort of a hokey tourist trap but still fun to stand at the center of the earth! We also visited a museum with loads of cool experiments around the equator theme. For example, did you know that on the exact line of the equator when water runs down a drain it drops straight down with no whirly twirly? North of that line water whirls counter-clockwise, while south of the line it twirls clockwise. You can also balance an egg on the equator-at least if you’re Hans!

I never got it to pose for me.

Wed. we left for Manta on the coast, a 9 hour bus ride-EEK! I had checked into bus lines before we left & found out about the ‘Executive” bus line-comfortable, clean buses with a bathroom & movies-WOW!

These buses travel a more direct route rather than stopping at every village-that would take DAYS to get to the coast! $10 each bought us a ticket & off we went. The road went through the highland Andes, quite a stunning if somewhat terrifying drive. Lucky us sat on the side of the bus looking down a sheer cliff with a precipitous drop of 100’s of feet to the bottom of a canyon. No guardrails of course. At one point I looked over & instead of seeing the edge I saw the top of a truck! The bus driver was madly passing a pokey truck on the hairpin curves of the mountain road-FREAK OUT! Even with a nut pill (kava kava) this was not relaxing me! I jabbed Hans in the side “OMG! This man’s a maniac! We’re gonna be killed.” Hans calmly looked at me & said “The man is a professional driver, I’m sure he knows what he’s doing. If he doesn’t pass these pokes it’ll take us even longer to get there…is THAT what you want?” ARGH! What a choice! 5 hours is my seating limit for travel so NO I did NOT want to extend the 9 hour trip; BUT I did want to live to see Manta…I practiced deep breathing while listening to my heart pound in my chest.

Steep mountains gave way to rolling hills as the landscape changed & I relaxed a bit. Mostly cattle & fruit farms in the hills. The land flattened out the further we drove so that it resembled Panama more, except here people farmed the land which lies fallow in Panama.

Manta is a small town with a big beach.

It’s really all about the beach there & not much else. The city is nondescript, so we were quite happy we passed on living there. The ‘Ruta del Sol’ (route of the sun) we traveled down the coast seemed a bit of a misnomer as the weather was mostly cloudy & cool, since we visited in the rainy season. At least we never had rain showers but after a few days we missed el sol. I decided to soak up the chill against our return to Panama’s heat! We enjoyed walking on the beach & not sweating profusely too!

Next stop Puerto Lopez, home of whale watching & Los Frailes-billed as ‘the most beautiful beach in South America’-a bit of a stretch though it was lovely.

The most fun part of visiting Los Frailes was the ride to the beach in our tuk-tuk with driver David-LOL!

Set in a dramatic cove, surrounded by cliffs, I could see why people feel this is a stunning beach.

We climbed to the top of the cliff to a look-out tower for a great view, though no whales in sight. We opted not to take the boat ride out to Isla la Plata (the poor man’s Galapagos) as the wind & waves made for a chilly choppy ride of nearly 2 hours. We’ll pinch our pennies for a future trip to the real thing!

On our drive to Salinas we passed several cute beach towns & new developments. This coast is famous for surfing so it’s more laid back & low key than many resort beach towns, but that may change as it gets ‘discovered’. For now many people live in elevated bamboo huts, to allow animals to forage & flood waters to flow beneath their living quarters.

The beach at Salinas was crowded with people & crammed with stands selling stuff. We arrived on Sat. so weekenders invaded from nearby Guayaquil to party hearty. Quite the sight as we strolled the beach.

Our actual anniversary date fell on Sun. & the hotel upgraded us to a room with a small balcony & ocean view. They surprised us with a special delivery of a wine & fruit basket to the room-really thoughtful! Of course I’d blabbered to Nathalie when we checked in that it was our 28th anniversary-LOL! The blurt factor pays off!

Both Manta & Salinas are sports & commercial fleet fishing ports with tuna topping the list of catches. Hans had his heart set on a fresh tuna dinner but when we visited restaurants & asked, we got the familiar “no hay” reply-‘there is none’. We even asked taxi drivers who know it all & still “no hay”. It seems tuna swims too far out for locals to catch, so just the ‘big guys’ catch them for export & to turn into canned tuna. Sorry Charlie! No tuna for you…

Unfortunately Hans got a severe case of food poisoning for his anniversary-we ate at a street stand Sun. night. Luckily I escaped unscathed (the primitive gene again) but Hans vomited violently all morning. I tried to convince him to stay another night but he was over his Salinas experience. I packed a plastic puke bag for the 2 ½ hour bus trip to Guayaquil & off we went. Thankfully he made the trip without incident!

When we arrived in Guayaquil Hans was one puny puppy. I wanted him to rest in the room but no he had to take a walk so off we went to the Malecon 2000-the 1 ½ mile boardwalk along the river.

Several of the greatest historical monuments in the history of the city can be seen along its length, as well as museums, gardens, fountains, shopping malls, restaurants, bars, food courts, the first IMAX theater in South America, as well as boarding docks where several embarkations offer both daytime and nighttime tours up and down the river. It is one of the largest works realized in Guayaquil and it is considered a model of urban regeneration by global standards, having been declared a ‘healthy public space’ by the Pan-American Organization of Health (POH) and the World Health Organization (WHO). Lucky for us as we spent the next 3 days roaming up & down this boardwalk!

We started with a double decker bus tour of the city, a 2 hour drive through town! Much of the city was destroyed by a fire in 1896, so it’s not as quaint as Quito with colonial architecture & all. But people are determined to beautify it so every road overpass we drove under in the bus was decorated with lovely murals!

Next we did an evening boat ride up & down the muddy river, watching the bright lights illuminate the boardwalk. We always felt totally safe here, as people gather with families & friends, young folks stroll to ‘see & be seen’, & the police patrol constantly. Fun to people watch!

One neighborhood-Las Penas-survived the fire. Built on Santa Ana Hill Las Peñas is a colonial neighborhood, which has been built and rebuilt several times.

This brightly painted neighborhood has been home to many of Ecuador’s historic figures including presidents and poets alike. Today many of the houses have been converted to a number of small restaurants, bars, and boutiques, all which can be reached by climbing 444 steep steps up the hillside.

At the top we continued climbing the stairs of the lighthouse for a phenomenal 360-degree view of the river and Guayaquil. Hans snapped this shot contrasting the old & new neighborhoods.

By Thursday we were sick of the city with its noise & air pollution, so we headed out of town to Parque Historica. This historical theme park contains a variety of exhibits & was the perfect place to spend the day-NO CARS! A wildlife refuge with flora & fauna of Ecuador gave us a glimpse of a Harpy Eagle, along with many other critters found in the tropical forest. A traditional coffee & cocoa hacienda replicates how rural farmers lived in the 1800’s. People dressed in traditional costumes complete the look & feel of plantation life & the guy who greeted us was hilarious.

Sadly we didn’t get most of his talk but we did get that men cheated on their wives prolifically & many kitchen utensils doubled as weapons for women in the war of the sexes!
The boardwalk here is dubbed Malecón 1900, and gives you a glimpse into how the city looked some 100 years ago.

An old-fashioned bakery and cafe serves traditional dishes in a lovely outdoor setting. An old trolley completes the picture. It’s situated on the river so we just hung out there most of the day, happy to breathe soot free air & enjoy the peace & quiet.

Friday we flew back to Quito-enough of the bus system-LOL! We lucked out with a clear morning & had a great flight with wonderful views of the Andes.

CUY! CUY! CUY! CUY! CUY! Make that sound aloud & what do you hear?

Guinea pig chirping!

YUM! Yes we ate the little critters-a traditional Andean meal! No it does not taste like chicken! It’s quite gamey & ‘dark’ tasting. I’m glad we tried it but I think I’d pass on a 2nd helping!

Sat. we visited the Otovalo market, in the mountains outside Quito. A stunning array of shimmering rainbow colored fabrics almost overwhelms the senses. Psychedelic! The Sat. market gathers indigenous highland people to sell their wares to tourists mostly.

The Indians of this region are famous for textile weavings & their artistry & talent are obvious walking through the market. It’s HUGE! We even bought a few items to liven up our condo home décor.

I had no idea that part of Hans’ plan for Ecuador was a foreign adoption mission…we are childless by choice so this was quite a surprise! Yet when I laid eyes on Otto for the first time I knew he was meant for us. He’d join our fluffy family of flamboyant flamingos, Hugh Manatee, Georgia Mermaid, Chingo, Kitty & Piggy! LOL! Stuffed animals make the best kids-no expectations! Irresistible isn’t he?

After our transit through Columbia on the flight down, my concern was getting Otto home in one piece….Hans found a discount deal on our flight which had us transit through Medellin Columbia for 3 hours en route-no problem si? Except that we were not allowed to wait in the secured area of the airport & had to pass through customs. This meant that we went through super security to board our flight again. The least of which was being sniffed by dogs! I stood in line behind Hans & sort of wondered when I saw the guard ‘frisk’ him & Hans back away from the guy-hmmmmm, what was up with that? Seconds later my female guard grabbed hold of both my breasts & squeezed, hard. OUCH! I had a Seinfeld moment & nearly blurted out “They’re real & they’re spectacular”; but managed to stifle myself in time. Border guards are not known for their sense of humor-LOL!

Later in the waiting area I told Hans how the perv guard had groped me & he said “Me too! That guy poked & probed my fat rolls.” I just fell over laughing. Despite claims to the contrary it seems Columbia still struggles with drug issues. Lucky for Otto on the return flight we remained within the secured area, so the grope & search mission was not quite as intense & Otto passed through unscathed.

Now here we are back in our home sweet condo…it’s good to go & good to return! In fact we’re already planning the next trip!

Last week we were invited on another outing with our festive family. As we stood in the yard, gathering the troops for action, Juventino beamed at me with a smile even bigger & brighter than usual & announced “Soy muy rico.” (I am very rich.)

I knew exactly what he meant but I doubt if many Americans would look at his humble house hewn from his beloved wood by his own hands & see the wealth within.

He went on to tell us how lucky he felt to have such a happy, healthy family, his woodworking shop that he loved, & to be able to enjoy each moment of his day.

Wise words!

I began to question our rigid ‘more is better’ materialistic approach to life while traveling in Africa some 30 years ago. So called ‘poor people’ had so much more joy & laughter in their lives than many well off people I knew! Why?

Then I saw a movie called “Sugar Cane Alley” which captured this ability to enjoy life despite extreme poverty. I told a good friend to go watch it but she walked out in the middle of it, calling it a ‘fairy tale approach to poverty.’ How would she know since she’d never been poor, nor had she ever visited a Third World country? Yet many of you might feel the same…

I decided to research ‘poverty in Panama’ on the web & came across the article below. It’s not my intention to glorify poverty but merely to challenge your perspective & perhaps broaden your view of what makes us ‘rich’ or ‘poor’.

If you’re lucky, after reading it you too may count your blessings!

You may also decide to donate to a great group supporting the ecology & economy of our local area right here-check it out:

http://www.sustainableharvest.org/

A donation of just $25 can make a world of difference!

Occasionally, income does not provide a true indication of rich and poor and a quality lifestyle can be defined differently.
BY ROBERT E. BAKER
While Panama is experiencing better than 8 percent growth and our future looks brighter than ever, a foreign visitor recently lambasted Panama regarding our level of poverty and warned that we had better watch out because 47 percent of our population lives in poverty. He based this on the low dollar income of almost half of our citizens. Furthermore, while espousing his reactionary values that eluded both interpretation and prophecy, he went on to suggest that Hugo Chavez-type, leftist leaders could be the future result of our 47 percent poverty level.

Food for thought. What is poverty? Is a quality lifestyle accurately measured by each country? To different societies poverty comes in different forms. Is there a yardstick by which we can measure real poverty or should we accept it at face value based on dollars earned? Perhaps if your family cannot afford a car you are considered poor. Others might feel that one less gasoline-burning engine is good for the environment.
It seems that different people in different cultures consider poverty from various viewpoints, some that are socially relevant and others that are not so relevant. If your government can provide you with schools and medical clinics your subsequent lifestyle would be a personal choice. Do you want the big city and what goes with it, such as traffic, congestion, pollution, high prices, etc., or do you want the outlying areas that are quiet and cleaner?

If we measure poor by our monthly income it is obvious that the more developed countries will be richer than those that are still Third World. Some societies make you feel inadequate and shameful if you are poor, as if you do not measure up. Where they live it is not OK to be poor because they see only low incomes and they are blind to other qualities that sometimes abound.

Occasionally, income does not provide a true indication of rich and poor. Some cultures base everything on how much you earn, yet I have often heard it said that you are indeed wealthy if you have a loving family that is healthy. How about the family whose parents are both fast-paced executive superstars working 60 to 80 hours per week and never have time for their children? Could we say that they are good providers, but poor parents? Should the poverty index include quality of life for parents and children? Are poor people sad because they are poor or happy because they have less entrapments?
If you have to walk to school each day, as many of our parents did, does that mean you are poor? There are thousands of children in the countryside of Panama who walk to school every day and they do not consider themselves poor. In fact, they seem quite happy and also appear to be in excellent health. Typically, when they get home from school their mother or father is there waiting for them. In this case, is it good to be poor because you get more quality time with your parents? We might consider the kids of a first-world country who arrive home to an empty house to be poor because they have no mother or father to welcome them with a warm hug and a kiss.

Is it a description of poverty when many of our campesinos feed themselves from their immediate surroundings with fresh mangos, fresh bananas, or papayas or our native fishermen bring home fresh fish for their families to eat? Does that mean they are poor? Should we be ashamed that we cannot afford to buy the less-healthy processed foods at a huge supermarket? Did you know that in some first-world countries the government allows you to legally sell “Fresh Fish”, when it is as much as 22 days old? I don’t think anyone in Panama would eat a 22-day old fish. Do you?

I know several fishermen who live on the Atlantic coast and all of them are considered poor. One is named Raul and he lives with his family in a small house with no TV and no air conditioning. They don’t even have an electric can opener or a car, but they know all of their neighbors and either Raul or his wife Rumwalda are home every day when their two daughters walk home from school. Raul fishes three or four days each week and what his family does not eat, they trade or sell. While his house is quite small, it is ocean-front and they have little stress, no air pollution and almost no noise pollution, except for the lazy dog that starts barking at 6:00 AM. Most economists that measure by the dollar yardstick would definitely say Raul is poor, but I never thought of him that way because he seems to have so much. A healthy family, fresh food, low stress, beautiful oceanfront view, nice kids who have school and a nearby clinic. It’s a different lifestyle.
Could poverty ever be measured by what percent of your society can wear normal-sized clothes? One might argue that the 47 percent of our poor population are for the most part, not fat. How does that compare to a first-world country where 65 percent of the citizens are overweight? Most medical professionals agree that it is unhealthy and it is usually considered poor health to be overweight, especially when you factor in the collateral damage of diabetes and heart disease. Could we say then, that 65 percent of that specific first-world country lives in poverty because they are overweight and in poor health? Could poverty be measured that way?
Are you poor if you only have one television in your house or do you measure wealth by the number of TVs and telephones? Our poor campesinos might measure wealth by the number of hours they get to spend interacting with their children or their parents instead of watching television or being interrupted by cell phones. Is wealth fuelled by a consumer driven society where you need to buy the latest fashion? Is the fact that children in more developed countries wear designer-clothes to school a good thing? Who is that good for? Are we poor because our Panama school children wear uniforms that do not include fashion statements?

Who is rich and who is poor? Sometimes I’m not sure, but perhaps we can agree that there are different measures regarding poverty that are best suited for different cultures and one assumes a host of unrelated complexities when one confuses different cultures and values.
Robert E. Baker is the president of the American Chamber of Commerce & Industry of Panama. This column is based on the AmCham’ President’s Letter for January 2007.

P.S. Bear in mind that each Panamanian has access to free education, as there is a school in even the most remote areas. College also is free & open to anyone who passes the entrance exam…compare this to the US, where many parents go broke paying for their children’s college education!

Border Crossing
Or
Gringos in Hell

I actually considered calling this “Gringos Go to Hell” as that was the distinct feeling we got from the Panamanian border officials. We’ve driven vehicles across a variety of borders worldwide & NEVER endured a 7 hour transit time! Neither have we ever encountered paperwork so complex that we needed to hire a border “helper” to get us through the process. Unheard of!

In my usual O/C approach I did exhaustive research on documents required to cross the border into Costa Rica with a Panamanian registered vehicle. I felt totally prepared for a smooth crossing, though Hans & I did have a ‘moment’ when I told him I wanted him to make 6-8 copies of the paperwork & he refused & only made 4, which he thought was already absurd. More on this later-LOL!

We drove up to the border at 9 AM & went to the vehicle control window-all procedures are handled through a window so that you may enjoy the heat while the border officials keep cool. The woman scanned my paperwork, and then shoved it back at me while blasting me with machine gun Spanish. She gave a dismissive wave of her hand & walked off, not even bothering to try to explain. At this point a border “helper” came to our aid & explained that I didn’t have the paper to prove we had paid the taxes on the car. I told him that we’d just bought the car last month so all taxes were paid up. He brightened up & went inside to let Frau Hitler know this. I watched through the window hopefully but she waved him off with the same dismissive gesture. He returned with the bad news that Frau Hitler insisted on this document & we had to drive back into David, a city about an hour’s drive back into Panama-GRRRRR!

Back we drove! It took us quite awhile of circling the city to find the customs office hidden atop a hill there. Now perhaps you’re wondering as we did why we had to drive to a customs office in the city when we were at the customs office at the border????? This remains a mystery, along with why every other person we met in David spoke perfect English BUT no one at customs either spoke or understood a word. Mighty suspicious if you ask me!

The city customs guy told us we had to go to the bank to buy special stamps to put on this special paper for the very special Frau Hitler. Off we went to the bank. While we stood in line, we got a parking ticket. That did it for Hans! He grabbed the ticket from the windshield & stalked off to find the parking police-not a good day for us official-wise for sure-LOL! When he found the woman he went ballistic in Spanglish, wildly gesticulating & telling her that the bank cop had told him to park there. Luckily she wasn’t a Frau Hitler & seemed amused by his antics so she tore up the ticket.

From the bank we headed back to the hilltop customs office & after more waiting FINALLY got the special paper. By now it’s noon, we’ve wasted 3 hours on Frau Hitler’s power trip & we are TWO GROUCHY GRINGOS!! Another hour of driving & we’re back where we started.

This time Frau Hitler stamps the paper & we’re off to the next stop-the police, who must also print out a special paper to prove we have no fines against the car-good thing that parking cop tore up the ticket!

We stand waiting with our border “helper” while the 2 officials studiously ignore us. They avoid any eye contact, staring at their computers, laughing raucously & talking together while either playing a game or watching porn, who knew? Who cared? I just wanted my damn paper stamped BUT I learned long ago in a very hard lesson not to mess with people who have power over me. So I play Ally McBeal games in my head. If you watched the TV show you know the games I mean….the ones where she opens her mouth & fire shoots out to scorch the offender, or she punches him in the face & his head flies off & rolls away. Thus entertaining myself, I wait with Hans & the border “helper”. By now I’ve come to believe all this hassling is to provide employment for these border “helpers”. I press my lips tightly to stifle myself-a rare feat seldom witnessed.

After torturing us for at least 30 minutes they deign to acknowledge our presence & print the paperwork out, sign & stamp it. It’s all I can do to manage a polite ‘gracias’.

The border “helper” informs us that he needs yet another copy of some paper-by now we’ve used up all 4 of the copies Hans made. I resist the urge to engage in a marital moment at the border, since I can’t risk getting hauled off to jail-LOL! We trot across the dusty street to the photocopy place & make a few more copies, then share a laugh at the insanity of it all.

FINALLY after 2 long hours we make it through to the Costa Rican side-WHOOHOO! What an amazing difference! Border officials here have friendly faces! They speak Spanish slowly & simply so that we actually understand them & they make the effort to understand us too!
We’re through the border process in less than an hour! BY now it’s 4:00 & we’re drenched in sweat & covered with street dust & grime. I feel like a fish that’s been dragged through batter & rolled in flour EXCEPT that instead of being tossed into the fryer I get into the car & blast the A/C-AHHHHHH!

We take off for Golfito, a town about an hour away where I’ve booked us a room at The Hotel Las Gaviotas. By the time we arrive we’ve dried to a crusty finish, glazed & dazed. As soon as we check in we dash to the bar & order 2 Imperials-the local brew. Indeed we feel like royalty, having survived the fires of the border crossing from hell to enjoy the cool pool at Las Gaviotas.

GOLFITO

Golfito (little gulf) is a tiny town tucked away in a bay off the Golfo Dulce (Sweet Gulf), one of only 3 tropical fjords in the world. It’s a sport fishing haven with placid water over 600 feet deep! Across the gulf from Golfito is the Osa Peninsula, the most remote & rugged area of Costa Rica. We were immediately struck by the differences between Panama & Costa Rica. Costa Rica has more lush landscape & more poor people than Panama. The jungle starts right up the hill behind Golfito’s 2 main streets.

The town reminds us of an African shantytown, with shacks built of wood, somewhat dilapidated, metal roofs rusting through. In Panama even the poorest village we’ve seen has houses built of cement blocks, painted in bright colors with shiny metal roofs. The strangest contrast though is the fact that Panamanians are incredible litterbugs compared to the Costa Ricans! Trash heaps decorate people’s yards & beaches are strewn with garbage here, while Costa Rican yards are swept neat & tidy & beaches had little to no litter! This is odd considering that Panamanians are extremely clean; cheap hotels & public restrooms pose no problems. Not sure what the deal is with that? Maybe Costa Rica’s long history of ecotourism has made people more sensitive to the environment? We also saw people picking up cans & bottles to recycle & 2 backyard recycle ‘centers’ in Golfito. This is absent here, sad to say. So maybe tourism can have a positive effect on a country!

We spent Sat. poking around beautiful downtown Golfito & even did a bit of souvenir shopping. Next day we decided to take a boat ride across the gulf to the peninsula & visit Puerto Jimenez. Several ‘captains’ offered to take us across for $40 one way but we like to travel with the locals so we took the ‘ferry’-LOL! This is a low rider boat, you have to crouch low to get to your seat as the roof is only a bit over 4 feet high! It seats maybe 20 people squashed into 2 rows of double plastic bucket seats-not for people with claustrophobia or who need much personal space! Hans & I were crammed next to each other & still no room for the people to walk up & down seeking seats without bumping into your legs. We were told to arrive 30 minutes prior to departure so we enjoyed sitting in a pool of sweat while waiting for the boat to leave. Luckily a breeze eased my torture & once the boat took off it was great! We couldn’t see much, set down low in the water as we were, but then there wasn’t much to see-water water everywhere & not a drop to drink! A smooth ride & 45 minutes later Puerto Jimenez. Such a deal for $10 round trip!

Fodor’s guide calls Puerto Jimenez a ‘one iguana town with a certain frontier charm’. Unbelievably it’s the largest town on the Osa Peninsula & the last before you fall off the grid-no electricity or phones south of town! The roads aren’t paved so you eat & breathe dust while a light coating helps to absorb the sweat in the humidity of the mid-day sun. Hans was driven mad by the dust so I reminded him of the ‘red dust’ in Africa, where we were so covered with dust by the end of the day driving with windows down (no A/C!) that the nightly tidy up bowl was a mud pit-LOL! Things that are adventures in youth become annoyances with age! We had a decent meal & some brewskies at a local eatery then gratefully headed back to the boat.

Our hotel, Las Gaviotas, was the best part of this trip. It’s in an idyllic setting overlooking the tranquil gulf, with a perfect sunset view from the restaurant. They have a great chef who cooks outstanding traditional fish & meat dishes so we stuffed ourselves nightly. Dangerously delicious!

The return border crossing was a total non-event! We were through both sides in less than 1 hour amazingly! Mission accomplished & visa renewed. Here we are back in our home sweet condo where Hans spent much of the day figuring out our mail system with Earth Class Mail, our virtual mail delivery! Different country, same stuff-LOL!